Awa : My Stories, My Thoughts, My Journey

Nearly a year has passed.  This year, I went at almost everything with jump-in behaviour and head-butt my way just like what my instinct told me to do so. At the end of everything, I achieved my objectives which are to experience as many things as I can and  to uncover the cap of the  people around me. Along the way, the pain inflicted and damage caused are enormous. Up to one point I thought of giving up.  I found friends and I discover foxes in sheep clothing, lurking in the corner waiting to pounce at you at every opening exposed. Life is difficult at some period. It felt like the Dark Age has descended upon me. Seriously, I was at the end of my wits and I had reached the blank point in my life. All the anger, hatred, sadness and negativism clouding my mind.   Alhamdulillah, slowly I crawled my way out of the dark tunnel. I'm very blessed because there are many people who support and encourage me at difficult time.   

I just realized that I actually enjoyed this unwanted, long holiday after I spent two nights staying up late to finish two novels ( ah, 1 am is never too late for me. The night has just started, babe! Urgh, why did I sang this line mentally when I dislike people using 'Babeee'? Now, I feel lousy. But, the line is so catchy and the impression it  has stayed on my subconscious mind... ) There, there. Now I has started this internal rambling again. Lucky it has not become a habit to mumble to myself in public ( soliloquy, said Madam Janet. I first had an encounter with this word in Macbeth's class during our foundation years and I had a love-hate relationship with  it since then. Who wouldn't, especially when one had to endure a 3-hours-class every week just to keep on hearing the same word being repeated again n again and to discuss the text for three months?) I am still amazed at Madam Janet's patience to deal with us especially the shameless me who sat at the front...

My belief  that I can consume almost any food was shattered last Raya just because of an innocent incident. We  ran out of Milo and it is a big no-no to serve Sarsi or Orange cordial  for breakfast. Rummaging through the cupboard, I spotted  a small packet of  'kopi timbang' and I decided to use it. Well, as expected, only the grown-ups drank it except for a few adventurous children. I was tempted to try as I rarely drink 'kopi timbang' and it has been ages since I had coffee. If I was not mistaken, I finished two or three medium sized glasses in one shot. The 'kopi' was okay and I was about to pour another glass when I thought of my sugar intake.Little did I know that my tryout on 'kopi timbang' will turn out to be a nightmare. I had headache, nausea and blurred eyesight. Only after taking a nap, I was back to my old self again. My, my. Kupi oh kupi..

Assalamualaikum.. Finally I'm back... 

  Yesterday, I went to PKNS with two intentions. First, I wanted to post two parcels to Sabah , which was done smoothly with extra information. I asked the lady-behind-the glass wall ( counter - lady ) the difference between Pos Laju and Pos Biasa and how much the cost for each one of them. So, now I got the needed info, time to plan for the hassle at the end of this sem. Second, I went to every CD shop in PKNS and SACC and finally I settled with Video EZY shop in SACC. For the past few weeks, I was working on movie selection for Asian Literature assignment ; we are required to pick any Asian-issue-based movie and do a critical analysis on it. I tried to get some idea by browsing through filmasia.com  and other sites ; trying to figure out any potential one. I found several movies in which have some sort of personal connection with me. Most of them are movies in which I was attracted few years ago but had no chance to pursue them. For example , The Red Kebaya. Then, I dec...

Today I spent more than 3 hours in INTEC Library from approximately 2.30pm till 6.15pm ( I knew because I looked at my Nokia ). Brrr... I feel like going down with a cold. If I stay inside for the same length of time for three days consecutively , for sure I'll fall sick. This is based on experience, mind you. Even though I'm a native of highland, I'm weak against articial cool temperature including fan and aircond.. But, at the same time, I'm hopeless against hot weather. What a conflicting body! As I'm very sensitive towards weather change, cold to hot and so on.. I proudly call myself a toad.. At first, I planned to read magazines. In fact, I already piled them up on the desk. But, a friend of mine came and asked about the assignment for Classroom Management. So, I abandoned the whole stack ( sorry guys.. later..) and moved to the journals section. And, there, I became so engrossed in piling another stack of thick, hard covered journals...

Today is tuesday.. Tomorrow is wednesday.. And we will have our Asian Literature class tomorrow.. This is the only class for this sem in which I have constant trouble and worry whenever any group work was announced.. Why? Because, I don't have regular 'geng' @ group member... After some time of self-debating and unsuccessful attempt in finding any available group, I decided to join Fiqah's group , thanks guys.. huhu.. really appreciate it.. Perhaps I shouldn't feel bothered by this issue at all.. But, I do take it to heart seriously!! I spent the first two weeks at the beginning of the semester to console myself, to persuade myself, to remind myself, to square my shoulder and brace myself.. That this situation is normal and common.. It didn't happen to me alone.. Allah has His plan why I went through these ordeals.. Maybe this happen to me because I wasn't with friends from IP Gaya or IPKB.. ( oh, there is nabil inside the class as well) In fact, I travelled...

The smell of 'Kao Attack' The warmth of the newly-awaken sun The soft breeze from nowhere The sound of the engines outside the hostel Such a typical scene To do morning laundry. As I hung each cloth on the line I turned the inner side Just like discovering the truth among the garments I found my way inside Through the pile of damp clothes It is wet, unsorted, overlapping each other Just like what happened yesterday. When the sun show himself fully When the wind blows strongly And the laundry has dried Just like that As time goes by The task will be completed by himself So do what happened yesterday It'll settled somehow..

Clouds of butterflies Birds of heaven Wind of earth Songs of the ocean, Place of hearts We met here In the sky of love

Controversy?? Scandalous?? Commit suicide?? Yep, I just did that. I dug my own grave.. literally.. I wonder.. How am I going to go through this night.. Laptop in front of me.. a bottle of Cactus (life goes on..)beside me.. papers all around me.. Ya Allah.. titipkanlah inspirasi kepadaku, hembuskanlah ilmu ke dadaku, angkatlah hijab di hadapanku.. Kerana.. I'm stuck!! On sociolinguistic thought paper " the consequences of language contact" I blurted the title of this post to Nui and Fatin last night, when we sat together, reminiscing our days in this semester with the tons of works to be done and to be submitted. They laughed. Nui said she likes my 'tagline' (oho). Fatin said I often come out with lots of self-modified words. My, my.. Yep, yep.. come to think of it.. People will know when I'm stressed or out of ideas when I'm in 'crazy mode' or 'saat gila' sa. Saat 'gila' sa, dapat diteka bila sa mula beraksi lain dari kebiasaan ( ka...

Assalamualaikum wbt.. H1N1!!!!! UiTM tutup!!! Cuti sem!!! Yahoo ke atau Huhuhu ??( dengarnya cuti raya bakal bersisa 3 hari je , alamak... ) I spent my previous weekend at Dewan Seminar Blok U, Faculty of Education, attending marriage course which organized by Intec HEP together with JAIS. On the first day of the course, I was busily engaged in every-day-must-have scenes available in the classes or in any courses ; either I'm struggling to stay awake or trying to act naturally (in which I always failed (sigh) I really need to brush up my acting skills) as if I'm okay, I'm interested with a straight poker face on what the speaker in front of is talking about. Well then, just like what an ordinary student's life in a holiday is, thanks to EE for her Wimax ( wink,wink ) , again, I'm back in complete otaku mode. Night and day, in front of my laptop, savouring the everlasting excitement and thrilling sensation from my beloved manga :) Oh, life is a heaven inde...

Welcome to my page.. And the tale of endless journey begins... A lhamdulillah.. setelah sekian lama, selepas ramai sahabat-sahabat yang menggesa saya untuk menceburi bidang 'blogging', akhirnya hati saya terbuka untuk berbuat sedemikian. Lebih manis lagi apabila blog pertama ini dilahirkan di perpustakaan Intec, UiTM Shah Alam Seksyen 17. Alhamdulillah.. semoga saya akan diberi kekuatan, ruang dan kesempatan untuk beristiqamah dan bermujahadah dalam perjuangan menulis blog ini. Actually, I can say that I'm very familiar with writing, because I've been writing for years since I know how to read and write. I've started by writing in Malay during primary school. Pada masa tu, saya sangat terpengaruh oleh karya sastera, bukan sahaja sastera klasik seperti Hikayat Panji Semirang, Hikayat Malim Dewana, Hikayat Cik Anggun Tunggal, syair-syair dan pantun, tetapi juga karya novel-novel sasterawan-sasterawan seperti 'Iakah Salmah', 'Hujan Pagi', "Seorang ...