I just realized that I actually enjoyed this unwanted, long holiday after I spent two nights staying up late to finish two novels ( ah, 1 am is never too late for me. The night has just started, babe! Urgh, why did I sang this line mentally when I dislike people using 'Babeee'? Now, I feel lousy. But, the line is so catchy and the impression it has stayed on my subconscious mind... ) There, there. Now I has started this internal rambling again. Lucky it has not become a habit to mumble to myself in public ( soliloquy, said Madam Janet. I first had an encounter with this word in Macbeth's class during our foundation years and I had a love-hate relationship with it since then. Who wouldn't, especially when one had to endure a 3-hours-class every week just to keep on hearing the same word being repeated again n again and to discuss the text for three months?) I am still amazed at Madam Janet's patience to deal with us especially the shameless me who sat at the front line and was in and out of conscious mind during her class. In other word, sleeeeping.
One good thing about this long holiday is I get to defroze my frozen state of mind due to the heaviness and rigidness of academic life. Academic exercise or AE really sucked the life out of me, literally. Until now, I cannot read any book or take a look at any article without actually start to check on the references and arguments. My recent break-up made things worse. I had to deal with my broken mind and heart. Alhamdulillah, Allah gave me strength and sorting out the house is a really good theraphy. Perhaps I'll write on it in another entry if I have enough courage to smile at the past.
Oh, actually there are two good things about this long holiday. The other one is I learn to ramble in my writing; to reclaim my old self and my passion on writing. When I was 9 years old, I wrote my own syair. My one and only syair. Although it disappeared years ago, I still remember how I used my umi's old typewriter to write 'sajak', 'cerpen' and any other literature form the little me was inspired to. One day, I shall try my hand back on Mr Typewriter. Just you wait.
Still, money issue is here. I envy my fellow friends who are now working and being paid. Even more to my friends who are getting engaged or counting the days to get married. Not that I'm desperate to become a wife. For me, engagement and marriage means a lot of money involved, apart from the upcoming responsibilities. Having money means you have the freedom and power to do whatever you want and to proceed with your plan in life. However, I'm thankful that rezeki is always with me (tidak putus) as there is always source of income no matter how little the payment is and things are easier for me ( tidak rasa sesak walaupun dalam kesempitan dan urusan sentiasa dipermudahkan).
Soon, the bonus will be in. Sabar Salwa, soon it will be your turn ( * next year* flashing a not -so- white devilish grin my mind, ngeeeee ... ).